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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Well Wisher




She looked in the mirror and appreciated her figure! The extra flab had been knocked out and the curves had become shapelier! She gave a big smile at her accomplishments! Neha had just celebrated her forty fifth birthday and could pass off easily as one who was yet to reach thirty!! Her daughter, Pallavi was in the first year of college and when the duo of mother and sister walked the streets most mistook them to be sisters! She was a fitness freak and never indulged in excessive eating or drinking!

She walked into the bedroom and turned on the TV.A mundane soap played and with a disinterest she flipped the channels! The music channel played a lilting number with an eye catching dance. She raised the volume and got engrossed in watching the performance. She dropped into the chair and did not hear the closing of the bedroom door! She thought it was the wind from the window in the adjacent room which had softly shut the door. She waved her hand through the hair when she smelt the air and found a pungent odor behind her! She turned around and was aghast to see the burly figure of a man who was in his late thirties going for her throat. Her eyes opened in horror and could not believe, it was happening to her! She could feel the choking of air through the windpipe which was being suffocated. She tried to kick her feet when the other hand of the man landed a blow on her head. Her body went limp, stunned with the impact. A trickle of blood oozed from the side of her mouth.

The burly man picked up the remote and raised the volume of the TV set further and went about searching the room. He looked under the bed and then moved over to the cupboard. He opened it and looked through the contents and found the bundle of papers. He removed them and opened the file. The papers were intact. He had been trailing Neha since she had left the Registrar’s office with a bundle of green file in her hand. These were the succession documents handing over the ownership of the flat which her mother had left for her. A small two room flat where Neha and Pallavi lived after her estranged husband had left her! A mean man who had been running the business which had gone bust due to his excessive indulgence in drinking! He had tried several times to convince Neha to mortgage the flat so that he could raise money for his next business venture, but she had flatly refused. He had started living separately, when the court had intervened after a complaint lodged by Neha with the Women’s Cell and warned him to keep away from her. Neha had just returned home after attending a meeting in the local Registrar’s office.

Pallavi, returned from her college and tried to ring the bell of the house when she noticed that the main door was partly closed. She gave it a nudge and the door opened! Very strange! She thought, as this was unusual. She walked a few paces in the living room and saw a silhouette of a man bent with his head scanning the papers while her mother lay limp on the chair!! She froze for a while and then stepped back and tiptoed back to the main door and firmly shut the latch from outside! She was trembling in fear, and dialed the number of police! She informed the duty officer, who told her to wait till the police came. A few minutes later, a jeep arrived in which there were two constables and a sub inspector. One constable slowly opened the door while the Sub Inspector and the constable stood guard at the door. He tiptoed into the room and was surprised to find that the bedroom door was fully open and there was no trace of the man or Neha, whom Pallavi had seen just a few minutes before!!

‘Sahab, there is no one here’ shouted the constable from inside as they all rushed in!

Pallavi burst into tears, not believing what she saw. The room was clean and there was no sign of her mother or the intruder who she had seen just a while ago! The police made a search but found nothing unusual except that the TV was still on but there was no one in the house.

‘Madam’ you will have to come with us to the police station, the Sub Inspector told Pallavi.  ‘We have some questions to ask’ he continued.

After about an hour of quizzing, Pallavi returned home where a constable still stood outside the gate. She entered the bedroom and removed her shoes and removed the clip of her hair to set them free. A faint sound of agony startled her! She moved closer to the cupboard and flung the door open! Her eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of her mother who lay in a bundle with a tape around her mouth. She pulled her out of the cupboard and called the constable, to help her. The constable quickly made a call to the police station and helped in untying the wrists and feet of Neha! As the tape was removed, Neha cried in pain. There was swelling on the face where she was hit. They quickly, washed her face and gave her a glass of water to drink. Neha was visibly shaken and in pain! However, the worst was over for her as she tried to regain her composure. The Sub Inspector inspected the room, took statements and asked Neha if something was stolen from the house. Neha, could not ascertain immediately, but most of the things other than the cupboard were undisturbed.

By next morning, Neha felt much better, though the events of the previous day had left her ruffled. In the evening, she received a phone call from the police station to reach there immediately. She accompanied Pallavi and reached the police station. A small crowd was gathered around a white sheet. The policeman uncovered the face and once more Neha, stood staring in disbelief at the dead face of her husband! She was informed that he had died of excessive drinking and the body was being sent for post mortem! Neha broke down and sobbed as Pallavi tried to calm her down. The events of the last two days had shaken the foundation of her life!

Two days later, a courier, came and delivered a packet to Neha at home. She tore open the folder to see the green file which had gone missing since the assault on her. There was a badly written hand note which said,

‘Madam, I was hired by your husband to get hold of the file from you and was paid Rs 50000/- to do the job. I got the file and left from the rear door, after I heard your daughter entering the house. I returned to meet your husband who was very happy to see the file and asked me to join for a drink. He paid me the money too! I could not believe that a man could do this to his wife! Once he fell down after drinking, I removed the file. I am sending the same to you. ‘A Well Wisher’

PS- Image Kind Courtesy Google

124 comments:

  1. Super...the twist of events and the happy ending...kept me scrolling till the very end...enjoyed reading it...:)

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  2. The ending gave me goose bumps! not to say that the story was very gripping! u have the knack of holding attention through ur writing! Awsome

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    1. Very kind of you, Jerly for those kind words:) Thanks indeed!

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  3. Wow! what an amazing ending! Tremendous work, Rahul:)

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  4. Lovely story!...Enjoyed reading it.....Beautiful narration!

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  5. An Amazing and a gripping tale! Liked it! :)

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    1. A big thanks, Shilpa and am happy you liked:)

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  6. Excellent narration and superb concept..Loved every bit of it. :)

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    1. A big thanks Sunakshi for that generous praise:)

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  7. The change of heart of the attacker took me by surprise but it happens. Well narrated :D

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    1. Thanks a lot Ghazala! I love your way of story telling :)

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  8. Omigod, what a twist! I like this attacker now :-) Rahul sir, your stories have a happy ending, I like that! and you are a great story teller!

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    1. Ha Ha... Jenny, 'The Stockholm Syndrome'!!A big thanks for those nice words:)

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  9. Wow.. dat was so sweet.. The end brought a wide smile to my face.. Gr8 one :)

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    1. Good to see you, Sonia after a while and am happy you liked it:)

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  10. Immaculate narration. It was like reading a thriller. Loved the way you wrapped up the story :)
    A sequel should be interesting to read. Great read!!

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    1. Welcome to my blog Panchali and a big thanks for all those kind words! That has got me thinking for the sequel bit:)

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  11. So thrilling! And what a great twist at the end.

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  12. OMG!!! OMG awesome story unbelievable twists and turns and the last one is god really surprising!! till the end I was guessing who will be well wisher in such a situation and there it comes BAM! :D

    Superb one Rahul sir loved it :D

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    1. Ramya, am so happy that you liked the story! Always a pleasure to see your nice comment:)

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  13. You're such an awesome storyteller!
    The twists and turns kept me hooked till the end. But the last one, was just awesome!

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    1. Akanksha it gives utmost pleasure to see your lovely comment! BTW I rarely miss your lovely writing!

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  14. Engrossing till the very end......the last twist was unexpected.

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    1. A big thanks Allka( the Balaji effect, I guess:)I am happy that a writer like you liked the yarn spun by me!

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  15. Goood one.. so i guess the man kept the money...

    agreed the husband was a bad one but the well wisher was the same too.. hitting a woman without even knowing or trying to find the reasons ..


    Bikram's

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    1. Life is always full of twists and turns, Bikram! A big thanks:)

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  16. Oh my God, what a tale that was! I felt my blood go cold in places. Good job! The husband deserved it.

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    1. True , Rachna! The mean men deserve that kind of end!

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  17. Rahul, this tale had me chilled to the bones. It has all the makings of a great short story. Please indulge me by developing it into a short story of about 3500 words, which you can then enter into a competition.

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    1. Rachna, each time I read your comment I seem to ride a high cloud:) If you assist, I will develop this into a bigger tale:)Thanks a lot once again!

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    2. Rahul, you really don't need any assistance, you are so good. Atleast start writing the short story first. Assistance will come later.

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    3. Thanks for that morale booster, Rachna:) Will now seriously find more time to write longer stories:)

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  18. One word.. Thrilling!! I could actually visualize the scenes while reading!!

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    1. Radhika, nothing fells better than to see this kind of a remark from budding writers like you!

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    1. A sincere thanks Francesca that you liked the story!

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  20. Replies
    1. Welcome to my blog Valentina!A big thanks for following my blog:)You have a lovely blog too!!

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  21. This is such a riveting tale, I was completely glued to the screen! I was especially concerned when Pallavi and the police couldn't find her mother. That is a rather strange way for a 'well wisher' to treat someone, first rough them up and steal from them, then return the stolen documents...I wonder if that could actually happen, but then again money will make people do the strangest things. And the husband -gosh - Karma goes around!

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    1. Thanks a ton Sam ! It feels good when someone like you reads this story and does some analysis:) Human nature is most unpredictable at times and that is what makes the life so interesting! Karma certainly goes around:)

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    2. Thanks for your kind reply, have a great weekend!

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  22. Oh gosh such well written story. I am glad it was a happy ending:)
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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  23. Incredible story Rahulji. Really enjoyed this.

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    1. A sincere thanks Rama for your nice comment!

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  24. Hi Rahul

    A very intriguing read and the final twist was unexpected.

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    1. Jayashree, I wish I could write stories like you! A huge thanks for following my blog! Am honored:)

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  25. Well narrated story, Rahulji! Should we say the attacker to be a good man? But he has taken the money from the husband and attacked the wife who was helpless! So, he is 'fifty fifty'!

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    1. Thanks a lot Sandhya! Every person has a negative and a positive side:)

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  26. Very captivating plot & narration.It is heartening to see that goodness exists even in baddies.

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    1. Thanks a lot Indu! Agree with what you wrote!

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  27. I am copying your pic if i can-suits my latest post.

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    1. I am honored that you found something worth taking:)

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  28. nice twist in the end...liked it :)

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    1. Nice to see you back after a long time Sub! Thanks a ton for liking:)

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  29. Well, he was just a paid assasin, he did his job and he even had the heart to do something that was rightful. NIce story Sir :-)

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    1. True Ashwini! Even the worst of the people have a few good traits!

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  30. As they say, there is some honesty in criminals too. It was a very gripping narration. Loved the twist in the end. And it reminds me of the earlier story you wrote about the man who feel from temple stairs and died. I think I must take some inspiration and finish the incomplete stories I have written.

    A very refreshing read.

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    1. Saru, very aptly put!I never knew that I could inspire someone like you:) You are very kind:)Do complete your stories and share them for us to read!

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  31. Kept me on the edge!Your writing skills has reached a new height in this one, Rahul loved the story and the twist!

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    1. You humbled me with that comment! Thanks a lot Padmaja:)

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  32. Awesome narration, I felt the chills and the thrills as I kept reading further and further! A real page turner, if I could say! I'm in love with your writings, hats off to you :)

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    1. A sincere thanks Arti for those comments of appreciation. I am honored and fall short of words to thank you enough!

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  33. Very well woven story, kept me on the edge through out

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    1. It is a delight to see a comment like this one from someone whose forte is story telling, Bhagyashree:),

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    1. Wish you have a nice week to Francesca:)

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  35. the twist in the end was very unexpected...very well written rahul....enjoyed every bit of it..

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    1. Life is full of twists , Alka:) Thanks a lot!

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  36. A real good one from the story teller.
    Liked it.

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  37. Dear Rahul, i think your writing has improved - love the story! Keep sharing!

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Thanks Martina! Happy to see you back:)

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  38. sometimes strangers are better than family.

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  39. Wow !! story of suspense , i liked the twist ..
    good work Rahul G ..

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  40. great story!!!

    Check out my blog!
    http://www.cheapandglamour.com/2012/09/paola-frani-ss-2013-exotic-punk.html

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    1. Welcome to my blog Giusy:) Thanks a lot for that nice comment! You have a lovely blog too:)

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  41. Wishing you and your family a wonderful weekend ahead Rahul!

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  42. That is an amazing short story. I couldn't stop reading till the reached the end. Gripping! :-)

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    1. Welcome to my blog, Jyoti! Thanks a lot for that comment:)

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  43. Wow! It was exciting and thrill while reading... you are a great creator Rahul buddy. The end was moving.

    Hugs n Kisses

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    1. Thanks a lot Shilpa that you enjoyed this one!

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  44. Nice story. Well written as always, Rahul.

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  45. Gripping till the end.. Good you didnt kill off Neha :-D

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    1. Thanks a lot that you found this one interesting!

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  46. Great narrative and it left with motion pictures while reading! It seems he’s professionally bad but not personally.

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    1. Thanks Jeevan for see the images while reading:)

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  47. I loved the twists and turns and how you ended your story.

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    1. A big thanks, Purba come from across the seas means even more now:)

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  48. ya as every says here, nice one:)

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    1. A big thanks, Ramesh for that very kind comment!

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  49. I would like to thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this website. I am hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a great example of it.
    From India

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  50. That was a great story...glad to step in here...

    Do land in my world some time... :)

    http://apparitionofmine.blogspot.in/
    http://creativeworldofnoopur.blogspot.in/

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  51. Welcome to my blog Noopur! A big thanks for finding time to read and also having liked :) You have a very creative blog! Hope to see you here more often!

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  52. end was unexpected :P
    loved the pace with which events occurred... it was engaging

    Awesome read !!

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    1. Thanks a lot, Jyoti for your kind comment:)

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  53. Hi Rahul, thanks for stopping by!

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  54. Rahul sir :D a gift and challenge to you
    Please visit my Blog,
    http://ramya-chitrana.blogspot.in/2012/10/time-to-celebrate.html

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    1. Thanks a ton Ramya for the lovely award!Challenge will be met:)

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  55. BOSS the twist was too good
    Had to hold my breath reading the whole story.
    :)

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  56. Thanks a lot Harman for that lovely comment:) I am happy you liked it!

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