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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Night without an End


The night was lonely dark n silent

  Only noise a flutter of wings of a bat

Rustle of leaves where the owl sat

  Creepy footfalls silently on the mat

A shrill sound of a banshee snaps

 She wakes wide in horror from catnap

Is this for real or a honey trap?

  Unable to decide she feels strapped

The throat is parched as hands quiver

     A harsh cry as eyes close in fear

Will I see again my near n dear?

     Is the haunting thought in clear?

Was this happening in dream or real?

   The beads of sweat trickle down

The feet were wobbly and heart pound
    
    The color crimson or blood on ground

PS  1. Image kind courtesy Google

      2. An attempt to write a creepy post !
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89 comments:

  1. Saru SinghalJanuary 15, 2013 at 6:13 AM

    That is a bit creepy and very interesting. It's fun reading different genres. I liked it a lot!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:22 AM

      Thanks a lot Saru that you liked this creepy post:)

      Delete
  2. Found In FolsomJanuary 15, 2013 at 7:35 AM

    I read a poem by Saru today morning on similar lines...It's not creepy to me...more or less depicting the way things are today..can one really sleep in peace? But, I liked the way you rhymed it.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:26 AM

      Thank you Latha and such a pleasure to see you comparing this poetry with the kind of greats like Saru:)

      Delete
  3. Sri ValliJanuary 15, 2013 at 8:53 AM

    Creepy!
    Loved the way you rhymed this poem and brought creepiness to this poem! Awesome! Very beautifully penned.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:27 AM

      Thanks a lot, Valli and so happy that you liked it:)

      Delete
  4. JennyJanuary 15, 2013 at 9:19 AM

    Oh god. Rahul sir read the above lines thrice. Wonderfully written, but I only hope this is her dream, and then again I wish she doesn't have such dreams too!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:28 AM

      A sincere thanks, Jenny for that beautiful comment! This was just a wild imagination and nothing beyond that:)

      Delete
  5. RamakrishnanJanuary 15, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    Felt like I have just witnessed a horror scene from a Hindi thriller Bees Saal Bad or Woh Kaun Thi. great stuff Rahul ji !

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:29 AM

      Oh thanks, Rama! Good you could remember the movies like Bees Saal Baad and Woh Kaun Thi through this post!

      Delete
  6. ʞɐJanuary 15, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    Creepy yet elegant.
    Nicely penned. :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:30 AM

      Welcome to my blog Ajay and am happy you liked it!

      Delete
  7. DivyaJanuary 15, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    Penned well! I did not really find it 'creepy' but it was definitely different from the way you usually write :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:32 AM

      Thanks Divya! Your threshold of creepy is a few notches higher so will try something more scary next time:)

      Delete
  8. Rachna ChhabriaJanuary 15, 2013 at 7:35 PM

    I loved this creepy post. Gave me the shivers. Rahul, please don't call this an attempt. It was a superb poem. Thanks for sharing it with us :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:32 AM

      Thank you Rachna for being ever supportive! Am happy you liked this different kind of post:)

      Delete
  9. BikramJanuary 15, 2013 at 8:55 PM

    That is creepy rahul sir.. but it did its job made me shiver ..



    Bikram's

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:34 AM

      Ha ha Bikram ! I know you are made of stronger stuff but thanks for your kind comment!

      Delete
  10. monicaJanuary 15, 2013 at 11:14 PM

    definately (NOT ! ) creepy..:P
    n very well written Sir..Its a sad thing that ppl still have to made aware about it...respect women n their privacy shall come as default...:(

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:35 AM

      Thanks a lot Jemina for that nice comment! Agree with you regarding the need for repect and privacy of the fairer sex:)

      Delete
  11. D.NambiarJanuary 16, 2013 at 6:10 AM

    Eerie! Thanks to the details :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 16, 2013 at 8:36 AM

      Thanks again Divya! Hope for a few moments you could get the eerie feel:)

      Delete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2013 at 9:57 AM

    Well written -- tense and a little scary.

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  13. PurgedJanuary 16, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    Hi Rahul,,,i used to read your posts,,,really enjoyed each of them don't know much about its creepiness but it sounded awesome,,,great work,,,cheers

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:10 AM

      I am honored that you have been reading my posts and found them interesting!

      Delete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    superb poem.... I liked it a lot!

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  15. Jayashree SrivatsanJanuary 16, 2013 at 2:42 PM

    Very nice rhyme there Rahul. Liked it!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:11 AM

      Thanks a ton Jaishree and am happy you liked it!

      Delete
  16. RiàJanuary 16, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    It did creep me out...very well written sir.

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  17. Selvaggia CapizziJanuary 16, 2013 at 6:51 PM

    Wowww so intense rahul! You gave me the creeps!
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  18. PoojaJanuary 16, 2013 at 11:37 PM

    Yes, the poem is scary and very well written too.Keep up the good work, Sir! :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:13 AM

      So happy you liked, Puji!! Will endeavor to keep writing so that you enjoy reading:)

      Delete
  19. PanchaliJanuary 16, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    I'll have trouble sleeping tonight. Very well put, Rahul.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:14 AM

      You can squarely blame me for a sleepless night in that case Panchali:)Thanks indeed!

      Delete
  20. KusumJanuary 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM

    Successful attempt. The poem is creepy indeed! Bat's fluttering wings and owl's hoot is a scary combination.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:14 AM

      Thanks a lot Kusum! Sure owl and bat are the elements of scare on a dark night!!

      Delete
  21. SamJanuary 17, 2013 at 4:14 AM

    Hi Rahul, firstly, your rhyming is just brilliant! And I could really get the sense of fear and anxiety conveyed by this poem..it reminds of a scene from a Halloween scary movie!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:16 AM

      Am honored with that kind comment, Sam! Scary things are Ok just once in a while like scenes of Halloween!

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    2. SamJanuary 18, 2013 at 3:57 AM

      I am very glad and impressed to see you take on so many different genres in your poetry!

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    3. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:34 AM

      Thanks a lot Sam for ever being appreciative! It is fun to try new things while writing:)

      Delete
  22. Rama AnanthJanuary 17, 2013 at 8:43 AM

    Creepy indeed it is, and is a depiction of the situation we are in these days.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:17 AM

      Thanks a lot Rama! I too wish that the situation of lawlessness ends to bring sanity back!

      Delete
  23. padmajaJanuary 17, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    Even when it is giving me shivers, it is elegant, this is the beauty of your words I admire!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:34 AM

      So kind of you, Padmaja for that generous praise! Thank you:)

      Delete
  24. RamyaJanuary 17, 2013 at 5:01 PM

    Hello Rahul sir!!!!
    Poems can scare people tooo really this I got to know only after reading this brilliant post! I read it twice and thrice totally surprised by the way its written so much horror in words...

    Loved the last line the best The color crimson or blood on ground

    SUperb one Rahul sir!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:36 AM

      So now you know, Ramya that what demanding something creepy can result into:) Thank you for those beautiful words!

      Delete
  25. InsigniaJanuary 17, 2013 at 7:04 PM

    Scary yeah :) I have read horror stories, first time reading a horror poem

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:37 AM

      Thanks a lot to appreciate an ateempt at something different!

      Delete
  26. ArtiJanuary 17, 2013 at 8:43 PM

    Fabulous attempt, creepy scenes indeed painted beautifully through words! Loved it :)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:38 AM

      Thanks Arti for your kind words! Nice to see you back again after a break:)

      Delete
  27. TaniaJanuary 18, 2013 at 2:23 AM

    Scary! I can not sleep tonight...

    Hope you have a good time!
    Tania:-)

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 18, 2013 at 8:38 AM

      Thanks Tania and I am to be blamed for that sleepless night:) Have a lovely weekend!

      Delete
  28. magiceyeJanuary 18, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    Lovely imagery!

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  29. HitenJanuary 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Hi Rahul,

    I loved your poem. It was very creative with a dramatic undertone.

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  30. ashokJanuary 18, 2013 at 10:40 PM

    creepy indeed!

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  31. UnknownJanuary 18, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    The last line killed me ~

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  32. SamJanuary 19, 2013 at 4:55 AM

    ..thanks for your thoughtful comment, have a great weekend!

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  33. momto8January 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    a successful attempt!

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  34. PhilO♥January 19, 2013 at 7:49 PM

    Haunting indeed. like a nightmare that passed. Good work. I could imagine that poor little girl.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 20, 2013 at 10:09 AM

      Thanks Juhi for your nice comment as always! Good to see you emerge from the dark:)

      Delete
  35. ShreyaJanuary 20, 2013 at 7:33 PM

    Loved this one. :) Looking for more.

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  36. ZuzanaJanuary 20, 2013 at 10:30 PM

    Oh, I think you did very well, I sure can relate to waking up from a nightmare and feeling very much like you describe here.;)
    Have a lovely week ahead,
    xoxo

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 21, 2013 at 8:21 AM

      Thank you Zuzana for being able to relate to the post for some nightmare moments!Have a lovely week ahead:)

      Delete
  37. Radhika GuptaJanuary 20, 2013 at 11:34 PM

    Creepy and scary indeed!!

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  38. Vale ♥January 21, 2013 at 1:20 AM

    LOL you scared me, I am easily impressed !!!

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 21, 2013 at 8:25 AM

      Welcome to my blog Vale! Happy you liked the creepy poem:)

      Delete
  39. PurbaJanuary 21, 2013 at 5:17 AM

    Humans are creepier than ghosts.

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 21, 2013 at 8:25 AM

      You said it Purba! Could'nt agree with you more:)

      Delete
  40. BGTJanuary 21, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    Very creepy and interesting indeed sir..

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  41. Shilpa GargJanuary 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    Ooh! That sent a shiver down my spine!!

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  42. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 22, 2013 at 8:14 AM

    Thank you Ashwini! This was just imaginary post but seems you know someone who has had similar experiences!

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  43. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    Quite creepy it is... the pic and the words do as desired..

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    1. Rahul BhatiaJanuary 24, 2013 at 12:34 PM

      Ha ha... sent a chill down the spine, Manjulika:) Thanks a lot!

      Delete
  44. JeevanFebruary 8, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    Created an excellent nightmare!

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  45. Rahul BhatiaFebruary 8, 2013 at 6:17 PM

    Thanks a lot Jeevan!

    ReplyDelete

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