Cowgate

A meeting of the city council was in progress when the Secretary of the Environment  got up and moved to start the presentation.

‘Minister Sir, I am about to describe one of the most innovative approaches to save money and preserve our environment’. 

The camera zoomed and exhibited the lovely spectacle of the quiet flowing Siene and the lush green lawn adjacent to it and the towering Eiffel Tower in the backdrop! Next there was a sound of ‘meee…ow and a few sheep that jumped out of a van parked by the side. They ran out and in a few minutes were moving around freely and feasting on the tall shoots of the grass! ‘

What is so special about this, the Minister growled ‘don’t we see these sights everywhere’.

‘Sir, this experiment is being tried out in France’ to get rid of the lawn mowers and the accompanied noise’ the secretary remarked.

‘So what are you suggesting?’

‘Sir, we too have plenty of tall grass in our gardens all over the NCR so we could try with some cows to be grazed in the Lodhi Gardens, Ramlila grounds or even at India Gate. It would benefit in multiple ways, he continued… we need not then worry about the agitations that happen from time to time in these parks as the animals would serve as deterrence! In addition we can save on the water cannons we have to employ in such situations!  Also, the cow dung generated would serve as natural manure! You see all these benefits have been highlighted in the following slides! We could also get rid of hundreds of malis (gardeners) employed on contract and save a significant amount.  No better way to promote the tourism to an agrarian economy where even today almost 70% of the population resides…. He continued.

The final slide shows the Cost Benefit Analysis of the Scheme and the saving incurred annually, brought smiles to the faces of the listeners and even those who were opposed to the scheme from the word ‘go’! The rustic of the nearby colonies could easily accompany these cows to the Lutyen’s Delhi without worries of winning an election to stay near the bungalows surrounding these parks!

Mr Reasonable from the opposition group who was silent all the while got up and raised the din! What is the guarantee that the ‘cows will clear the lawns every evening? I have never seen the cows or for that matter even the bulls clearing from the roads even at wee hours from the roads in NCR when there is no grass to tempt them! Also, what is the assurance that cows will be persuaded to clear these lawns if the Tau’s themselves decide to protest and bring an unimaginable number of cows to these places! We can stop the crowds coming here en mass by cancelling the metro service but how can we stop the cows?  Lastly, we may never get to see the cows after six months of launch of the scheme if someone blows the lid of a scandal involving a scam in milking these cows dry by those who approved the scheme and also gobbling up the funds!

The  Minister after listening to the arguments decided to review the scheme later considering there were more important schemes to be launched in the pre election year and buried it to rest!

PS: Image Kind courtesy Google